Relationship Fitness

S13 Communication Basics E3: Don’t Assume Anything

In “Relationship Workout for Men,” Season 13 Episode 3 titled “Don’t Assume Anything,” Vince dives into the crucial communication pitfall of making assumptions during conversations with a partner. He outlines common assumptions that can derail dialogue, such as believing you already know everything about an issue or ignoring the importance of validating emotions. Vince emphasizes the dangers of these assumptions, highlighting how they can lead to misunderstandings, emotional neglect, and a breakdown in communication. Through this episode, Vince guides listeners to approach conversations with openness and a willingness to fully understand their partner’s perspective, aiming to foster healthier, more empathetic exchanges in relationships.

Welcome to Relationship Workout for Men, a podcast dedicated to helping men be intentional in choosing a better partner, and being a better partner for the person they choose.                                                                                          

Season 13: Episode 3: Don’t Assume Anything

In this episode we discuss Relationship Workout Communication Basic #2: Don’t Assume Anything

Another point that may seem rather obvious (obvious, that is, until you’re in the heat of an argument) is not to assume anything. 

More specifically, here are three things not to assume when it comes to communicating with your lady:

One, don’t assume you know everything you need to know about the issue as if there’s no need to listen to anything she has to say. Again, you can’t know 100% of what’s going on for her until you’ve given her the opportunity to share and you understand her point of view.

Two, don’t assume there’s no need to acknowledge, discuss and validate feelings. This is truly a bad assumption, as ignored negative feelings can often dominate a person in the moment, making fruitful dialogue impossible.

Three, don’t assume that the issue hasn’t triggered some dormant Demon in you. You may think you’re all calm, controlled and collected, when in reality, your ego is actually running you like a blind puppet.

Put another way, assuming things during a difficult conversation with your intimate partner can be problematic for several reasons:

1. Misunderstanding the Issue: Assuming you know everything about an issue on the table can lead to misunderstandings. It’s important to listen actively to understand your partner’s perspective fully. Each person may see the situation differently, and assuming you have a complete understanding can overlook important details or emotions.

2. Ignoring Validating Emotions: If you assume there’s no need to acknowledge, discuss, and validate your partner’s feelings, it can lead to emotional neglect. In a relationship, it’s essential to recognize and validate each other’s feelings. This fosters emotional intimacy and trust.

3. Overlooking Personal Emotional Triggers: Assuming the issue hasn’t triggered an emotional response in you – in other words a Demon — can be a form of self-neglect. It’s important for individuals in a relationship to be aware of and address their own emotional reactions. Unacknowledged emotions can affect behavior and the ability to communicate effectively.

4. Communication Breakdown: Assumptions can lead to poor communication. By not asking questions or clarifying, you might respond based on incorrect or incomplete information, which can escalate misunderstandings.

5. Relationship Dynamics: Effective communication in a relationship is a two-way street. Assuming you know all the answers or disregarding the need for mutual emotional support can upset the balance in the relationship, leading to feelings of resentment or disconnection.

In summary, assumptions in a difficult conversation can lead to misunderstandings, emotional neglect, poor communication, and an imbalance in the relationship. It’s crucial to approach such conversations with openness, willingness to understand, and emotional awareness.

So that’s a quick summary of Relationship Workout Communications Basic #2: Don’t Assume Anything.

In the next episode, we discuss Relationship Workout Communications Basic #3: We All See Things Differently.

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