Relationship Fitness

S18: Action E2: Deciding to Commit or Break-up

Season 18, Episode 2 of “Relationship Workout for Men” tackles the pivotal choice between commitment and separation. Listeners are invited to confront the reality of their relationships: Are they on the cusp of marriage, contemplating divorce, or struggling with dissatisfaction? This episode sets out to navigate these life-altering decisions, underscoring the profound impact they have, especially when children are involved or when precious years may be slipping away. As emotions run high, the series seeks to guide men through this critical crossroad with analytical clarity and introspection.

Welcome to Relationship Workout for Men, a podcast dedicated to helping men be intentional in choosing a better partner, and being a better partner for the person they choose.

Season 18 Episode 2: Deciding to Commit or Breakup

In the first episode for this season, Actions Speak Louder than Words, we discussed making your relationship enough of a priority to continuously be asking this question:

  • What can I do to be a better partner and improve the quality of my relationship?

For the rest of this season 18, I’m going to switch gears and discuss a separate action: Deciding whether to stay or leave a relationship.

If you’re married, perhaps you’ve been pondering whether divorce is the right path for you to take? 

Or, if you’ve been dating someone for some time, and there are threads of unhappiness, perhaps you’re pondering breaking up with her?

Or, if you’ve been dating for some time, and all seems to be fantastic, perhaps you’re pondering taking a next step forward toward a deeper commitment. Perhaps, you’re even pondering getting down on one knee and proposing to her?

Or, perhaps she’s asking you either directly or indirectly when are you going to put a ring on her finger?

Regardless of your situation, you’re essentially faced with three choices to make:

  1. Go forward toward commitment! She’s your Person – You’re ready to make a long-term commitment to her.
  2. It’s a No-go! Walk away – Time to cut your losses and let each of you find better partners for each other.
  3. Give it more time – If you’re already in a committed relationship, then maintain your commitment. If you’re dating, give the relationship more time as you need to learn more before you’re ready to make a commit or break up decision. 

It’s not a stretch to say the action you take in response to making one of those three choices can have a profound impact on your life. Deciding to get married or get a divorce is obviously huge and life altering, especially if children are involved. Break ups of any kind with a person you love are sure fire recipes for emotional distress. 

Even choosing to stay the course can be impactful if you end up essentially wasting years in a relationship that ultimately dead ends into breakup over reasons known from the beginning.

However, given this decision is so emotionally bound, it can be helpful to assist bringing your big head into the decision making, as your love for her is likely a given. So outside of the given emotion, the question you might ask yourself is:

  • If you two are really right for each other over the long-term?

To help answer this question, the rest of this season will be devoted to helping inform this analytical decision making, starting with some nuances that can be helpful to keep in mind, such as what are the three things men really want in a long-term relationship; and that’s the topic of our next episode.

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